For the last few months I've been questioning how to type this; in my dashboard there is a large number of drafts never posted in which I have tried so hard to explain what I've been feeling. I feel right now I think it's time I finally talk about it.
In recent months I found school becoming more and more of a priority. In High School, I was the type to never give much care of effort into my work partially because there was a lack of funding for my high school art program which is why I turned to Brokehell to focus my interests too.
Attending Academy of Art's School of Fashion program I finally feel like I'm with people who understand my love and I'm reaching new levels with my education.
It's because of this fulfillment with school, I don't need a creative escape anymore my entire school curriculum is based on using my creative brain. It feels like because of this I'm not putting in the effort with Brokehell. I just feel like I could be giving so much more but I'm not. I want the best for this blog because it's to share who I am with the world and I feel I'm not doing that. I don't know what to really do; I truly feel like time has stopped still for Brokehell.
It may stem from a mixture of things; maybe it's the stress and sadness I feel that I try so hard to suppress that's causing me to feel worn down. I've been trying incredibly hard for the last four months to clear up the old problems and sadness in my life and I admit I've come far and grown from so many old issues but I admit I still have a lot of inner demons.
I don't know anymore, I admit I'm not really a patient person and I don't know how to take it easy or respect that I should be happy I finally have down time to relax and slowly move forward. It may be because I should respect that getting your blog to the quality you want takes time and won't happen in a day. It's just currently where things are headed I'm feeling jumbled about what I want and if I can do it. I want to give the best quality I can and it simply frustrates me that I can't.
Sorry for this weird rant and thanks so much if you really did read it lol. Picture Diary will be up in a few :)